Examples of Ineffective vs. Effective Writing (Flashcards 2)

Oct 29, 2016

Study the examples of ineffective writing below. Think of how you can rewrite them in a more effective way. Your sentences may be different from the answers given in the ellipsis. (Click the ellipsis to view the correct answers.)
1. It is necessary that you not be uninformed about this case.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  You must be informed about this case.
2. There is ample evidence which indicates that the attorneys for the defense did not provide inadequate counseling to their client.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  Ample evidence shows that the defense attorneys provided adequate counseling to their client.
3. Speaking and to listen well are important elements of communication.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  Speaking and listening well are important elements of communication.
  To speak and to listen well are important communication elements.
4. To win is the obvious goal, but playing fair is important too.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  Winning is the obvious goal, but playing fair is important too.
  To win is the obvious goal, but to play fair is important too.
5. They were charged with assault, robbery, and forging checks.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  They were charged with assault, robbery, and check forgery.
6. I remember his generosity and that he was considerate.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  I remember his generosity and consideration.
7. She worked quickly and in an efficient manner.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  She worked quickly and efficiently.
8. When working with power tools, eyes should be protected.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  When working with power tools, protect your eyes.
  Protect your eyes when you use power tools.
9. When changing a diaper, a baby should be on his or her back.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  When changing a diaper, lay a baby down on his or her back.
  Lay a baby down on his or her back when changing a diaper.
10. I have some letters the mail carrier delivered in my purse.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  The mail carrier delivered some letters that I have in my purse.
11. We have tuna casserole I made in the refrigerator.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  In the refrigerator, we have tuna casserole that I made.
12. Mollie came over while I was playing the piano with a piece of pound cake.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  While I was playing the piano, Mollie came over with a piece of pound cake.
13. While asleep, the flea bit the dog.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  The flea bit the sleeping dog.
14. I tried calling to tell you about that TV show five times.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  I called five times to tell you about that TV show.
15. Although very spicy, Dana managed to finish the enchilada.
  . . .
  Effective way:
  Dana managed to finish the enchilada although it was very spicy.

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